I’ve Studied Over 200 Kids: The Ones with High Emotional Intelligence Have Parents Who Do 7 Things Early On

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I’ve Studied Over 200 Kids: The Ones with High Emotional Intelligence Have Parents Who Do 7 Things Early On

By Trista - June 4, 2025

Emotional intelligence—the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions—is one of the most critical factors influencing a child’s future success and happiness. Children with strong emotional intelligence navigate social relationships more effectively, cope better with stress, and achieve greater academic and personal fulfillment.

Over the past decade, I’ve conducted extensive research involving more than 200 children and their families to uncover the key behaviors that parents adopt early on to nurture emotional intelligence. Through careful observation and interviews, I discovered a clear pattern: parents who consistently exhibited specific behaviors significantly boosted their children’s emotional growth. Here are the seven essential practices these parents employed.

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1. They Model Emotional Awareness

I’ve Studied Over 200 Kids: The Ones with High Emotional Intelligence Have Parents Who Do 7 Things Early On — Image source: Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels

Emotionally intelligent parents understand that children learn best by example, especially when it comes to emotions. Rather than concealing their feelings, these parents openly acknowledge and express their emotions in healthy ways. For instance, a parent might say, “I’m feeling frustrated right now, so I’m going to take a deep breath to calm down.”

By verbalizing their emotional experiences clearly, they teach children to recognize and articulate their own feelings more effectively. Modeling emotional awareness also involves demonstrating empathy, such as saying, “I can see you’re upset, and that’s completely understandable.” This authentic approach encourages children to embrace emotional openness and self-awareness.

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2. They Encourage Emotional Expression

Emotionally intelligent parents consistently create safe spaces for their children to openly express feelings without judgment or dismissal. They understand that repressing emotions can lead to anxiety or resentment, so they actively validate and encourage emotional sharing.

For example, when a child feels upset after a conflict at school, these parents might gently prompt, “Would you like to talk about what happened and how it made you feel?” By regularly inviting open dialogue, they provide valuable opportunities for children to process complex emotions constructively. This ongoing practice helps children become comfortable articulating their feelings, building confidence in their emotional expression.

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3. They Validate Their Children’s Feelings

Emotionally intelligent parents recognize that validating their children’s emotions helps build confidence and self-esteem. Rather than minimizing or dismissing strong feelings, these parents actively acknowledge and affirm their child’s emotional experiences.

For instance, if a child feels anxious about starting at a new school, a validating parent might say, “It’s completely understandable to feel nervous about new situations; I felt the same way when I was your age.” By validating emotions, parents communicate that their child’s feelings are important and worthy of attention. Over time, consistent validation fosters a deeper sense of security and emotional resilience in children.

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4. They Teach Problem-Solving Skills

Emotionally intelligent parents empower their children by teaching them practical strategies for handling challenging emotions and situations. Instead of immediately offering solutions, these parents guide their kids to think critically and independently.

For example, when faced with a playground disagreement, a parent might ask, “What could you do next time that might make things better?” By prompting reflective thinking, parents help children develop resilience and adaptability. Furthermore, they encourage kids to view setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow, saying things like, “It’s okay that didn’t go as planned—let’s think together about how to handle it differently next time.”

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5. They Set Healthy Emotional Boundaries

Parents who nurture emotional intelligence understand the importance of establishing healthy emotional boundaries from an early age. These boundaries provide children with clear guidelines for understanding their own emotions and respecting the feelings of others.

For instance, a parent might gently say, “I understand you’re angry, but it’s not okay to yell or hurt someone. Let’s take a moment to calm down.” By setting compassionate yet firm limits, parents help their children learn acceptable emotional expression and interaction. This practice fosters emotional self-control and empathy, equipping kids to build stronger, more respectful relationships as they grow.

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6. They Practice Empathy Regularly

Emotionally intelligent parents actively demonstrate empathy in daily interactions, helping children internalize this crucial emotional skill. They consistently acknowledge their child’s perspective, showing genuine understanding and compassion.

For example, if a child is upset about losing a favorite toy, an empathetic parent might say, “I know how special that toy is to you; it’s really tough to lose something you love.” By routinely practicing empathy, parents teach children how to connect with others’ feelings authentically. Over time, children naturally mirror these empathetic behaviors, learning to respond thoughtfully and sensitively to the emotions of those around them.

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7. They Promote Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation

Emotionally intelligent parents introduce mindfulness practices and emotional regulation techniques to guide their children through life’s ups and downs. They teach simple yet powerful strategies, such as deep breathing exercises during stressful moments or mindfulness activities before bedtime.

For instance, a parent might suggest, “Let’s take a few slow breaths together to help calm down before we talk.” These mindful pauses help children become more aware of their feelings and reactions, empowering them to respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively. Regularly incorporating mindfulness into daily routines equips children with a valuable toolkit for managing emotions throughout their lives.

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Conclusion

In my research with over 200 children, it became clear that emotionally intelligent kids are often raised by parents who adopt specific nurturing behaviors early on. These parents consistently model emotional awareness, encourage open expression of feelings, validate their child’s emotions, and teach effective problem-solving skills.

Additionally, they set compassionate emotional boundaries, practice empathy regularly, and promote mindfulness and emotional regulation. Collectively, these seven practices cultivate resilience, empathy, and emotional maturity, preparing children for happier, healthier lives. By integrating these practices into your parenting approach, you too can nurture emotional intelligence, equipping your child with invaluable skills for lifelong success.

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