We all know that the statistics for divorce percentages are pretty high. While it’s no longer true that 50% of marriages end in divorce, the figure is now around 40%. That means there’s still a pretty significant chance of a happy marriage ending in divorce papers. Redditors dankph and KlyonneSpencer decided to ask divorce lawyers for the strange reasons why their clients broke up. These are seriously weird, so buckle up!
Wife Swap, Life Swap
Does anyone remember the reality show Wife Swap? On it, we’d meet two couples with pretty different lifestyles, who would then swap wives to try out each other’s lives. Here, a divorce lawyer tells us a pretty similar story.
Basically, two long-term couples arrived at their divorce lawyer’s office and proceeded to explain that they’d like to swap partners. All parties consented to the bizarre life swap, and since their assets were the same, the husbands just swapped houses. Amicable!
A Seriously Sneaky Spiritualist
Now here’s a seriously sneaky guy that went behind his wife’s back to steal their home. This story is just bonkers, so strap yourselves in. The first strange thing to happen here is that the husband discovered on their honeymoon that he could speak to dead people. For some people, that’s grounds for divorce already.
Worse still, this guy conned his wife out of their house, leaving her with no home or money. And worse again, he used her own divorce lawyers to do it!
Doggie Diets or Divorce
Sadly, some people are seriously scared of weight gain, and they can take it out on their loved ones. For example, this couple was married for only two years when the wife asked for a divorce. The reason? Their dog was fat.
We get it – health is important, dogs are members of the family – but isn’t this a bit drastic? Doggie diets do exist by the way! This wife felt that staying in the marriage might mean fat kids in the future, so she left.
Ashes to Ashes
In other cases, one partner in a marriage ends up with new and intense political or religious beliefs. Of course, a huge change like this can really shake up a marriage, for good or for bad.
This man divorced his ex-wife when she underwent a religious conversion that left her speaking in tongues every day. Worse still, while his wife was lying on the floor chanting, his two-year-old daughter was left to eat ashes from the fireplace. Ah!
The Power of Psychic Hotlines
We’ve seen that financial problems are a common cause of divorce, especially when one partner is out of control with their spending. It’s one thing for your spouse to waste all of your shared money on clothes, vacations, or fancy restaurants, but what if they splashed the cash on psychic hotlines?
This wife spent a whopping $42,000 to find out her future. We’re sympathetic to her ex-husband, especially if he doesn’t subscribe to the power of psychic hotlines.
Playing Without a Full Deck
With all this talk of money, we haven’t even mentioned gambling yet. This charming husband decided to divorce his wife in order to pay off his betting debts. That’s right, rather than ask his wife for help, or admit he made a mistake, this man went straight for divorce as a way of making some cash.
From this guy’s perspective, the goods he could pocket in his divorce were worth more than his marriage. It’s pretty sad, and we’re glad the wife got out of there!
Time to Leave the Nest
It’s a tale as old as time. We’ve seen it in the movies, and we’ve experienced it in real life – some men live with their mothers for a lot longer than they should. Of course, there are exceptions to this, especially for sons who care for their moms. But, in general, it’s best to leave the nest before too much time passes.
Unsurprisingly, this marriage ended in divorce because the husband was still living with his mother. This is a no-no!
A Mad Men Marriage
So this example is pretty creepy. It’s yet another case of a controlling husband trying to have power over his wife’s behavior and day-to-day life. This guy decided that he didn’t like how his wife talked, and asked her not to when they were with company.
This is an actual storyline from Mad Men, where Betty Francis is told by her politician husband to keep quiet about her opinions. I think we can all agree that this behavior can stay in the 1950s.
A Wedding Ultimatum
And what about a good old fashioned wedding brawl? This couple managed to get a divorce the same day they got married, due to a brawl between the bride and groom’s families.
A simple brother-sister dance quickly turned into a sister on sister brawl, and the happy night ended in an ultimatum. It’s safe to say that this potential marriage wasn’t on particularly strong ground to begin with. We think this bust-up was probably for the best.
The Translation Troubles
Translation troubles can be a real issue in a marriage. Just watch an episode of 90 Day Fiancé and you’ll see couples all over the world stammering over their words and haplessly typing into translation apps.
In this case, a multi-lingual wife could speak Spanish, English, and French, whereas her husband could only speak Spanish and English. Eventually, he divorced her after translating one of her conversations with her family in French, and finding out she was slating him! Harsh!
The Playboy and The Storyteller
We admit, it can be annoying to be around someone that isn’t great at telling stories Maybe they start in the middle and then ramble for too long, or maybe they give away the punchline way before they should. Regardless, whilst it’s annoying, we aren’t sure it’s grounds for divorce.
According to this post, this husband supposedly left his wife because of how long it takes her to tell a story. Funnily enough, he’s the true villain of this story.
Mother Knows Best
Hilariously, this divorce lawyer shares that it’s common for younger male clients to come to divorce consultations with their mothers. Basically, mommy doesn’t like her precious son’s wife, and bullies him into considering a divorce, or at the very least, attending a consult.
We would love to know what happens when the wives in question find out about their mother-in-law’s scheming! Seriously, somebody should tell these ladies that divorce is decided upon by the married people, not their parents!
Va Va Voom
What about divorcing your partner based on how they look? It’s a pretty common practice for some people, especially high-powered men that swap their wives out for a younger model. But what about women doing the same thing?
This lady wanted to divorce her husband both because his chest wasn’t hairy enough, and because he didn’t drive fast enough. This lady needs a mustachioed Tom Selleck, or perhaps a suave looking ‘70s era Starsky and Hutch ASAP!
Poor Ransom Etiquette
Here’s another divorce story that involves rather serious crimes. We’ve seen the issues that can arise from poor crime etiquette, but what about poor ransom etiquette? Surely, if your spouse is kidnapped, you would immediately pay the ransom to get her back, right?
We know that negotiating with criminals isn’t always recommended, but we also assume that husbands care more about their wives than being 100% moral. Anyway, we can’t blame this poor lady for opting for divorce after this.
The Tupperware Troubles
Hey, we aren’t going to deny that Tupperware is a great product. It’s resilient, it’s durable, and it’s trustworthy. Tupperware for life! However, Tupperware is also pretty affordable, so we aren’t sure it’s worth fighting over in court.
This unhappy couple went to war over various shared items, but spent weeks arguing specifically over their Tupperware. “No, I’m taking the cereal storing set!” “No! The rectangular stacking set is mine!” “No way! I use the microwaveable plates every day!” Get a life, guys.
Doggy Doggy What Now?
We’ve already seen what can happen when a married couple doesn’t agree on what their cat is called. And we know that overfeeding a family dog can lead to divorce in some cases. So, guess what happens when you talk smack about your spouse’s pups? It’s divorce, people!
This wife called it quits after snooping on her husband’s phone and finding something she didn’t like. No, he wasn’t cheating. But he was being mean about her beloved doggies. We get it. Divorce!
Betrayal of the Vegetarian
There are plenty of pescatarians, vegetarians, and vegans that would divorce their partner for feeding them food that they specifically choose not to consume. Whether it’s for dietary reasons, environmental reasons, or ethical reasons, it’s a personal choice to not eat meat, and it should stay that way.
In this case, a veggie wife ate what she thought was meat substitute, only to find out it was the real thing. This is seriously traumatizing for a non-meat eater, so we can’t say we’re surprised!
It’s Cream, No Sugar Dear
We have to admit that this one makes us chuckle. For seven long years of wedding (non)bliss, this wife asked her husband how he would like his coffee every morning. You might think that this is an attentive and kindly gesture, but the husband ended up divorcing her over it.
Understandably, the husband in question became infuriated that his wife didn’t remember his coffee preferences from day to day. “It’s cream, no sugar dear! I told you yesterday!”
Loud Chewing and Lip Smacking
Unbeknownst to the loud chewers amongst us, some poor people suffer from misophonia. This disorder makes people really hate certain sounds, particularly eating and chewing. People with misophonia can also get irritated with loud breathing, sniffing, or even pen-clicking.
This husband clearly suffers from misophonia, and ended up leaving his wife because of her loud chewing. We feel for him, but we also can’t help but think that divorce was a bit drastic. Maybe some earplugs could have helped?
Bottled or Breast?
Here’s a divorce story that just leaves us with more unanswered questions. Seemingly, a wife divorced her husband because he brought his mother on their honeymoon, because he was still breastfeeding. Now. Where to begin?
How did the wife not know this before marrying her husband? Why did the husband or his mother not mention it before? And finally, could the mother not just pump some breastmilk and send it off with the happy couple? Teehee, just kidding.
A Marriage-Ending Shower Curtain
Amusingly, some divorce papers spell out the rather petty things that couples claim are the reasons for the end of their marriage. For example, this pair called it quits because the husband wouldn’t help his wife put up a shower curtain.
We can’t imagine how huge the argument over this shower curtain must have been in order to justify it being a reason for divorce. Seriously, what context do we need to understand this? Is it a symbolic shower curtain? Is this code?
A Coupon Lady For Life
We’ve already heard about a man who lost his wife and child because of his obsession with penny-pinching. Here we have a similar case, except the penny-pincher is a “super-thrifty coupon lady”.
For those who don’t know, couponing is a serious hobby. It’s not just using a coupon here and there, it’s a systematic and organized project involving hundreds of coupons and some serious strategy. This coupon lady decided her husband just wasn’t thrifty enough, and ditched him.
The Worst Parents Ever
Guys, fair warning, this one is sad. It was bound to come up on this list, but it’s tear-jerking nonetheless. This couple went through their divorce proceedings with no issues at all in regards to their finances. Sadly (so sadly), they did have issues when it came to deciding on custody for their kids.
Unlike many cases where both parents fight for custody of their children, these terrible people didn’t want them at all. What selfish, nightmarish, awful parents they are!
Two Fat Ladies, Number 88!
We’ve seen that hobbies can get in the way of a healthy marriage, especially if one person ends up obsessed with something. Whether it’s gambling, spiritualism, or psychic hotlines, one-sided obsessions don’t usually end well for married couples.
In this case, an 86-year-old man divorced his 82-year-old wife because of her addiction to Bingo. The wife went to play her favorite game between 10-12 times a week, and clearly her husband wasn’t happy. We wonder how often she went after the divorce.
He Sure Plays a Mean Pinball
Before we tie things up, we have yet another weird and petty reason for getting divorced. At the end of the day, for this charming husband, his pinball machine collection ranked higher than the woman he chose to marry.
As is often the case, this is a lucky escape for this guy’s ex-wife. If your husband looks at a collection of multicolored boxes and loves them more than you, get out of there. At the very least, we hope he plays a mean pinball.
A Not So Royal Wedding
And finally, this poor husband didn’t even know his wife was unhappy until she revealed her plans to marry the Prince of Turkey (or something). This technologically disadvantaged lady had been scammed online and was fully willing to start her new life in Turkey.
As is often the case with online scams, she was prepared to give her future Turkish beau $45,000 and ditch her current husband. Understandably, this was pretty concerning for her spouse, who quickly sought out a divorce lawyer.
Skid Mark Stresses
Maybe it’s not polite to talk about poop stains, but we’re talking about strange reasons for divorce, and this is definitely one of them. Apparently, this man submitted a request for divorce based on his wife’s poop stains in the toilet.
If the only thing you have to complain about in your marriage is stains from a natural human function, then maybe this woman got a lucky escape. Plus, what was stopping this guy from getting the bleach and cleaning the toilet?
Dirty Diaper Drama
Alright, folks. Here’s a weird one. This poster claims to know a couple that got divorced after the wife witnessed the husband engaging in some pretty gross behavior. Basically, the wife walked in as the man was taking poop from his baby’s diaper, and wiping it over his body.
What can we say here? Clearly this guy had some sort of issue going on, and it’s probably best for everyone that this marriage ended in divorce before things got even weirder.
Proper Murder Etiquette
Sometimes it’s hard to know everything about a person when you get married. Of course, you’d like to think you know how they’d react towards certain situations, but you can’t know for sure. We wonder if this poor husband planned for any murders in his upcoming marriage.
Basically, this guy’s wife’s dad killed somebody, and then the wife defended her father’s actions online! Even worse, she harassed the victim’s family over Facebook. Can we get some murder etiquette in here?
If we’re being honest here, we were completely dumbfounded after reading this post. First off, how can you possibly spend $65 a week at Starbucks? After all, the place is highly overrated — and frankly, not all it’s cracked up to be.
While we can understand an occasional splurge, there’s literally no excuse to spend that much on coffee when you can easily make a cup at home. It’s no wonder why this woman hit her breaking point.
That’s One Way to Get Out of Debt
So, this guy essentially divorced his wife to get out of debt. This just goes to show how bad decisions can have an effect on everyone around you. Still, this guy didn’t seem to show much remorse considering that he was just looking for an easy way out.
Let’s just hope that once he lost his wife and did pay off all his debts, he learned his lesson and didn’t get himself into this kind of mess again.
We hate to say it but if your spouse begins fighting with your parents on the very first night of your marriage, things just aren’t going to end well whether it’s a week from that point or years later.
Still, we think that this guy may have called it quits a bit too early. Whatever the fight was about, couldn’t he have just stuck it out and let bygones be bygones?
The Force Is Strong With This One
While we can understand how movie quotes or Star Wars puns could get annoying after a while, don’t you think that getting a divorce is going a wee bit overboard? After all, you never know when you’ll need a silly pun to brighten up your mood.
At this point, though, it looks like you’ve lost your chance. And we guarantee that you’ll regret this decision at one point or another because frankly, we find your lack of faith [in marriage] disturbing.
As ridiculous a reason this is for getting a divorce, you guys would actually be surprised to learn that this guy isn’t the only one who has issues sleeping with the light on.
Still, perhaps this couple should have come to some sort of compromise before calling it quits altogether. Or maybe, they should have tried living together before tying the knot in the first place. Let this be a lesson to all of you young ones…
Hose Will Be Hose
Well, this is definitely not a case that you hear about every day. Still, there had to have been an underlying reason for this woman to divorce her husband.
Perhaps buying a new hose was just the icing on the cake after years of her feeling like she was being neglected. After all, from the sounds of it, this guy spent more way more date nights with his car than he did with his beloved wife.
Polly Want a Cracker
Let’s be real here — we all laughed at this one. While divorce isn’t necessarily fun, the reason for this couple’s separation is pretty hilarious. There’s nothing quite like coming home from a long day of work only to be insulted by your cutesy, little parakeet.
Where in the world did it learn these words and phrases? Honey…did you have anything to do with this one? Yes? I want a divorce!
Not Good Enough
Although this one is absolutely ridiculous, it’s unfortunately not completely unheard of. There are plenty of entitled people in this world that expect their partners to worship the ground they walk on.
And although some would be perfectly happy getting a new iPad case just because their husband loves them, this woman was just not having it…to the point that she decided to get a divorce. Let’s just hope that the guy found someone that actually appreciates his kind gestures.
This Is Too Much for Me
Sure — this reason may sound absolutely ludicrous to some people but at the end of the day, this woman was only saving herself from having to spend years in prison, as well as her (now) ex-husband’s life.
Still, we can’t fully understand why she got married to him in the first place considering that he has always had these habits. Maybe she thought she could handle it until she finally reached her breaking point. After all, there’s a special place in this universe for loud eaters.
Hoarding vs. Utter Uselessness
From the sounds of it, these two people were just simply not right for each other, and at some point, they both had hit their breaking points.
While we’re not entirely sure why they get married in the first place considering how different they are from one another, we’re just glad that they came to the conclusion to call it quits so they both could go on and live a happier life apart.
Rationing Toilet Roll
Of course, plenty of marriages fall apart due to financial reasons. It could be that one partner can’t help but splash the cash, or, like in this case, that one partner is super stingy.
This husband was suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which sadly ended up ruining his marriage and tearing his family apart. This partner’s penny pinching included rationing out toilet paper, banning restaurants, and cutting hair at home. Unfortunately, we aren’t surprised this one fell apart.
Kitties Over Kiddies
We’re sure you’ve heard of couples arguing for custody over their children, but what about arguing over a cat? And, what if you also have three children, but still care much more about the aforementioned cat?
This batty couple got divorced because of their cat, and then argued for a year over who should keep it. The husband and wife each called the cat a different name, and fed it different diets. We hope the cat and their children found a better home.
Onto the Next One!
Some people are addicted to marriage. Take Elizabeth Taylor for example – she got married eight times, including two separate weddings to Richard Burton. These marriage addicts might love coupling up, but sometimes they leave for petty reasons so they can move onto the next big thing.
That looks like the case here, where a woman divorced her husband for being “too good-looking”. Even weirder, she divorced another husband for bringing home the wrong hot-dogs. Onto the next one!
Pranking Pushed Too Far
Social media platforms are full of examples of married couples playing pranks on each other. Reddit and YouTube are full to the brim of examples of spousal pranking gone wrong, whether it’s taking something too far, or verging on being cruel.
According to this post, one woman broke off her engagement because of her fiancé’s escalating pranking. The pranks included a fake lottery win, which is a pretty intense way to trick the person you supposedly love. Don’t take it too far guys!
I Didn’t Like Her Anymore
In the age of celebrity, we’re used to marriages that don’t last very long. Famously, Kim Kardashian tied the knot with NBA player Kris Humphries for a huge, televised wedding, but the actual marriage only lasted 72 days. To be honest, Kim K’s reason for divorce was pretty similar to this poster’s. She just didn’t really like her husband.
We can’t believe we need to say this, but it’s generally a good idea to like your partner before choosing to spend your life with them. Just saying.
Creepy and Controlling
Some marriages should end in divorce, especially if one partner is super controlling and places unreasonable demands on the other. Take this post, where a husband told his wife she had “three chances” to give him a son. In case you didn’t know, there’s no way of controlling what gender your baby is, so this is unreasonable straight away.
Worse still, when the wife did give birth to a son, it still wasn’t good enough for her controlling husband. It’s a shame she didn’t divorce him first. At least now the kid can eat in peace.